I think we have already established that I have a bit of a sick sense of humour so it should come as no surprise how I was tickled by this news on channel 4, the night before last, about Bush and Blair’s meeting about Iraq in January 2003. Basically by then they had decided to go to war anyway regardless of what the United Nations decided and in that meeting they were trying to come up with ways to do this.
What seriously annoys me is that, even though both Bush and Blair are such great liabilities, I still can’t bring myself to dislike them. I want to dislike them as well and so as soon as say, George does something really silly, I think ok that’s it now; I don’t like him anymore. But it never lasts very long because straight away he goes and says another great thing like: ‘The Indians and the Paki's should learn to live in peace.’ Or ‘I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.’ (Umm, I dread to think what he was actually doing when he said that.) or ‘For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.’ or ‘I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.’
I think you will agree that it’s impossible to dislike a man that brings us so much laughter.
It’s different with Tony. He’s not funny. And unlike George Bush he doesn’t give you that sense of the-lights-are-on-but-nobody’s-home so you can’t even feel sorry for him because you think he is a bit dim.
However the thing with Tony is that in his speeches he gives me this feeling that he really believes in what he is saying. Even with the Iraq war I think he actually believed that it was the right thing to do. Now it was either a case of him really wanting to do this and then lying to himself over and over again until he finally fully convinced himself that Saddam had weapons, or he had simply listened George Bush when he had said, ‘The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.’ and had decided that it all made sense. Whatever it was (maybe I’m being a bit naïve here but to me) in his speeches about the war, he came across quite sincere. To the point that even I, the Iranian, that make it my business to always be cynical about politicians, started to think that maybe Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and could actually destroy the whole of Britain in forty five minutes notice. I know lying isn’t good and all that but let’s give the man credit when credit is due because he really did a good job in his speeches.
But I think the main reason I can’t dislike Tony Blair is that out of all the people that want to become the prime minister of Britain, he is the least weird! Yes it’s more a case of, in the kingdom of blind, the one eyed man is king or in this case, in the kingdom of crazy, the less crazy is the prime minister. I’m not saying that people of Britain are crazy or anything like that, oh no, far from it, it’s just that unfortunately nobody in their right mind ever wants to go into politics. So Tony Blair may be annoying and a liar and the possessor of the strangest superpower of all; the ability to instantly turn anything he shows interest in from cool to seriously uncool (this is true; he very nearly put Calvin Klein out of business and at one point even the music industry was threatened) but at least he is the annoying liar superhero that we know. Also he is actually quite intelligent and says things like, ‘Ask me my three priorities for Government, and I tell you: education, education and education.’ As appose to his American counterpart, ‘Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?’
In short, these two are like Pinky and the Brain; they might be trying to take over the world, but it’s still impossible to dislike them.
‘I hope you leave here and walk out and say, ‘What did he say?’’ (George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, August 13, 2004)