This year in an attempt to build bridges between Christians and other faiths, celebrating Christmas openly has been frowned upon.
Oh yeah, that ought to do it! That is going to build bridges between faiths alright. Bridges that they can then cross to reach the people of other faiths…and kick their heads in!
-Why aren’t we having a Christmas tree this year Mummy?
-Well little Johnny, you know what a Muslim is?
-You know Abu Hamza? The guy with a hook for an arm and one eye that you used to have nightmares about every time you saw him on the news? Well that is a Muslim. And that doesn’t like Christmas so we’ve decided not to have Christmas anymore because we don’t want to offend him. Isn’t that nice?
-But what about Santa Mummy? Is Santa still going to come?
-No honey, I’m afraid not. You see Santa’s sleigh was hit by a scud missile as it flew over Gaza. The Jewish government has already accepted responsibility and has apologised for this mistake…which is nice.
-So no presents?
-Well not quite darling. Here is a copy of the Holly Koran for you to read during the holidays and in this envelope I have two circumcision vouchers for you and your daddy to be redeemed on Boxing Day! Isn’t that great?!
Yeah that’s it! Get them while they’re young. Make sure that message of “Hate non-Christians” is tattooed on their brain before they’ve even reached the age of ten.
Two out of three companies in the UK have banned Christmas decoration in their offices this year so not to offend people of other faiths. It’s political correctness gone mad darling! Whatever next? A veiled Muslim lady delivering the Christmas Day message?
Well they’re one step ahead of us on that one. Channel 4 has already signed up a veiled Muslim lady to do their Christmas message and it’s going to be aired at exactly the same time as the Queen’s speech.
Also talks are currently being held with heads of Al-Qaeda as Harrods desperately tries to sign up Bin Laden for its in-store Father Christmas.