Saturday, December 09, 2006

This year in an attempt to build bridges between Christians and other faiths, celebrating Christmas openly has been frowned upon.
Oh yeah, that ought to do it! That is going to build bridges between faiths alright. Bridges that they can then cross to reach the people of other faiths…and kick their heads in!

-Why aren’t we having a Christmas tree this year Mummy?

-Well little Johnny, you know what a Muslim is?

-No

-You know Abu Hamza? The guy with a hook for an arm and one eye that you used to have nightmares about every time you saw him on the news? Well that is a Muslim. And that doesn’t like Christmas so we’ve decided not to have Christmas anymore because we don’t want to offend him. Isn’t that nice?

-But what about Santa Mummy? Is Santa still going to come?

-No honey, I’m afraid not. You see Santa’s sleigh was hit by a scud missile as it flew over Gaza. The Jewish government has already accepted responsibility and has apologised for this mistake…which is nice.

-So no presents?

-Well not quite darling. Here is a copy of the Holly Koran for you to read during the holidays and in this envelope I have two circumcision vouchers for you and your daddy to be redeemed on Boxing Day! Isn’t that great?!


Yeah that’s it! Get them while they’re young. Make sure that message of “Hate non-Christians” is tattooed on their brain before they’ve even reached the age of ten.
Two out of three companies in the UK have banned Christmas decoration in their offices this year so not to offend people of other faiths. It’s political correctness gone mad darling! Whatever next? A veiled Muslim lady delivering the Christmas Day message?
Well they’re one step ahead of us on that one. Channel 4 has already signed up a veiled Muslim lady to do their Christmas message and it’s going to be aired at exactly the same time as the Queen’s speech.
Also talks are currently being held with heads of Al-Qaeda as Harrods desperately tries to sign up Bin Laden for its in-store Father Christmas.

19 comments:

homeyra said...

:) Well... hmmm.... uuh.... I invite you to Teheran for Xmas, might be more fun!

Anonymous said...

In that case I like to invite everyone to Las Vegas. It’s almost become a tradition here in US that most Persians now spend Christmas in Las Vegas. There are several Persian concerts over the holidays and you can get great bargains, since most American would rather stay home and spend the time with their families. No building bridges efforts going on here! For some reason the Chinese have picked up on that too. I think they have a festival or a new year or something going on around the same time and the hotels that cater to setup amazing Chinese style decorations. Also, heard on the news that Iran has banned YouTube now.

Anonymous said...

Oh things looked pretty Xmasy to me today in the Oxford City! I had never seen such a massive crowd of shoppers clustered together.

Curt said...

Great observation.

In the South of the US, where "tradition" is the most sacred thing imaginable and perturbations and encroachments upon it are tantamount to heresy of the worst order, I have always noticed a certain way of thinking about this (not that it is particular to or homogenous across this region, by any means; but it is certainly more noticeable here than in, say, Portland Oregon).

My Mom, for instance, gets all fired up this time of year about how everyone has taken the "sanctity"---the "Christ," if you will, out of Christmas. She goes on and on about it, about the evils of "political correctness," and so forth. I'm like: "Mom, why do you think that is?" She won't talk about Muslims or anyone else specifically, but what comes across very clearly is the perception that Christmas is somehow offensive to non-Christians, so we can't have it anymore since we can't include everyone.

Really what I think is at the heart of the issue is simply the discomfort of the consideration that certain traditions might be silly without any sort of real basis. It's a psychological projection. The perception is that Christmas offends non-Christians; the reality is that the tangible, undeniable knowledge that other traditions exist outside of one's own presents a quandary whereby one must consider the basis of one's own tradition (or the lack of basis, to be more accurate.) One endpoint of this reasoning is the acceptance that a tradition like Christmas has strength merely because it is a tradition, not because it is somehow ubiquitous, and that's where the angst and animosity is generated.

Great post.

GazanKhan said...

Well come back my dear friend Shirin the great! Talking about conspiracy to make non-Christians look bad, reminded me of a bigger and more dangerous conspiracy that’s been discovered recently: To spread AIDS among non Christians specially among the nice calm modest wise child making people of the great ancient civilization of India!! Have you heard that all these years they exported two-three size larger things to India which according to the BBC correspondents and the I.H.P.R.C.(= India health and population research center) the poor things are so loose that they easily fall down during the action, a real sad case of M.I.A.(= missing in action). and what's worse is that even after a small minority have found out about this, I don’t know what to call it, anyway, they still use the large loose ones although the threat of AIDS and over population is hanging above their heads like the heavy sword of Damocles. Why? Because quite understandably the guys are too shy to ask for the size: small. they prefer to die first, like the rest of the men on the planet; it's really sad.

shirin said...

سلام
فکر می کنم هم نام بودن با یک نفر که خیلی از تو فاصله داره و در عین حال یه هم وطنه خیلی جذابه
شیرین جان دوستت دارم

Anonymous said...

maybe it has to go realy crazy before things become normal. should I be now afraid that similar things happen to yalda night and sheep head feast? i love the idea that iranians make most of chrismas time and go gamblin:) Is there an equivalent to las vegas in the uK, shirin? I stil have no plans so Ild consider if i dont wanna end up in teneriffe...
you are great
marieh

Anonymous said...

Tee hee! People are so funny.
I am really touched to think of The exogenic British, of all people, worried about offending non-christians.
The thing is, most of the public Christmas celebration has very little to do with Christianity per se.
It's all about lighting up the cold dark days of the Winter Soltice, baby.
Don't want to offend, but does anyone mind if I put up some evergreens as a reminder that Spring is coming eventually? What about getting the family together for dinner and doing something special for the kids? Just want to celebrate the new life in the middle of all the plants dying and all.
I invite all the Peoples to lighten up, hang their giant condoms by the chiminey, have a little eggnog spiked with goodwill towards men.
Atmikha

Anonymous said...

I think you mistake anti-superstition sentiment for antichristian sentiment, only because most of the superstitious loonies you know are christians.

-Ron

Anahita said...

hmm....interesting concepts- as far as im concerned there is noe christmas anymore given that i have worked last year, will be working this year and likely to work again the following year- no yummy iranian halal turkey for me sadly- most likely what i had last year- a soggy cheese sandwich from the closing hospital canteen- which was even more depressing given we havd just finished coming back from our second cardiac arrest of the day- who sadly didnt make it....hahah anyways i feel i am diverging from the point...have fun with time off if you have it, or come up to A+E and say hello....LOL (actually that was a taarof please stay healthy, dont want to see any of you!!)

آ؟Ask Y? said...

Here in Seattle a Rabbi threatened to sue Seatac Airport if they didn't put up a minora on their X-Mas Trees. Now they took down ALL X-MAS TREES!

Secret News (My blog)

homeyra said...

Look at this one: same as above, http://proggiemuslima.wordpress.com/2006/12/12/sea-tac-holiday-trees-gone-rabbi-left-with-hate-mail/#respond

Shirin said...

Thanks Homeyra. Put the Turkey on and I’ll be right over ;-)
That Rabbi thing is hilarious!

Hope you have fun in La Vegas Bijan. What was that thing about youtube then? Is that Iranians’ answer to the Christmas thing or just random news?

You went to Oxford on Saturday Naj?! Oooh, now that is scary! It’s unbearably busy there on normal Saturdays let alone on the ones near Christmas. Hope you had fun anyway :-)

Hi Curt, That’s very interesting. It’s very sad as well though. I’m not a religious person myself but I know that religion is very important to a lot of people and they should be able to continue celebrating their religious festivals.

Ooh Gazankhan that’s just mean. Maybe they thought they would be more comfortable in the baggy ones! Well it’s certainly more casual!
I was joking when I said this was a conspiracy to make Christians hate non-Christians. The end result might be this and in my opinion they haven’t really gone the right way about doing this but I believe their intentions were good.

Hello to you too Shirin :-)

Marieh, You’re supposed to go to Tenerife? That sounds cool. I don’t think there is an equivalent to Las Vegas here unfortunately. There are some casinos in London but it’s not really the same is it?

Well Atmikha this whole thing basically started this year when Jack Straw said something along the lines of, ‘Muslim women should stop wearing Neghaab’ (pronounced “kneecap” in English; The veil that covers the face as well) Understandably by saying this he angered a lot of Muslims. So then they had to say things to other religions too so Muslims wouldn’t feel like they had been singled out. And so there were things like a woman got sacked from BA for refusing to take off a cross she was wearing over her uniform. And now basically this has turned into a viscous circle for the government who keeps trying to make it better but seems to make it worse instead.
Anyway I for one do not mind at all if you celebrate Chrimbo :-) Hope you have fun. Don’t forget to leave some milk and mince pies for Santa ;-)

And how is that relevant to this Ron? Sorry I don’t get it.

Anahita you work ALL THE TIME! The soggy cheese sandwich is just tragic. Hope you can at least get a nicer sandwich this year ;-)

Oh dear! Sounds like the whole world has gone mad Ask Y? Thanks for that.

Anonymous said...

oh shirin what should I do in tenereiffe? decrease the average age of foreign tourists? No I was wondering what i should do or where I could go for xmas, that would also attract others like me who dont have any reason or anyone to celebrate (visitin anahita is not an option!;)

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or Seasons Greeting? Building Bridges. I like the political correctness going around now. I’m glad that I can now find more nondenominational greeting cards than just Merry Christmas Cards, just a few years ago. I credit Jews for bringing about some of these changes and self-awareness in this country. Otherwise Christians have the audacity to assume that their way is the only way. I used to associate Xmas with Santa Clause or Papa Noel, until I realized there is more to it. What’s the deal with the nativity scenes? I’m glad to see them removed from the city and governmental properties. Jews argue that they must erect a minaret too wherever they setup nativity scenes. I’m much happier with Happy Holidays now.
The YouTube was a random news warning those who plan to spend the holidays in Iran.

Anonymous said...

Opps! That’s supposed to be the Jewish Menorah, and not an Islamic Minaret :)

Anonymous said...

I’m sorry Shirin. I don’t know what happened; I think my laptop had the hiccups!

musicalchef said...

That's really silly. How are we supposed to learn about each other if we're not allowed to all express ourselves?

Shirin said...

I see Marieh. What about John then? I thought you would celebrate Christmas with him.

Wow Bijan, your laptop really did have hiccups ;-) Don’t worry I’ll remove the extra comments.

I know Musicalchef, it is very silly. This whole thing is definitely not making anyone happy.