Wednesday, February 25, 2015

I've been researching my new book about weddings and now google is convinced I'm getting married. He's told all his friends too. They're all very excited about it. 
Facebook knows. Every time go on here it bombards me with pictures of brides and confetti. YouTube is a little confused. It thinks I'm having a Cat in the Hat wedding in Pakistan with reggae music. It's coming up with some brilliant videos. eBay is in charge of dresses. 
Hotmail is not part of their gang though. No google doesn't like Microsoft. My email still thinks I'm looking for cheap flights to holiday destinations. And I know it shouldn't but it bothers me that they're all laughing behind his back going, "look at that one! He has no idea about the wedding."
So I'm like, you think you're so clever, don't you Mr Google?! Granted, you have planned an out-of-this-world Cat in the Hat spring wedding in Morocco for me complete with stripy red and white bridesmaid dresses. You've put Photobox in charge of wedding invitations. Facebook is pushing for an "Event" and Moonpig is chucking flowers at us. However, from where I stand, I see a huge, fundamental flaw in this enterprise. Tell me my friend. When you were planning this o so spectacular wedding, did you at any point stop and say to yourself, "have I completely lost my mind?!"
I mean riddle me this smartypants if you please! The wedding is in Morocco. How are we going to get there?! You never thought about that, did you?
But guess what. Hotmail did!
So call it kismet, call it serendipity or whatever you like. All I know is you've all made me feel so very special and without you my fabulous, imaginary wedding would not have been possible.