I have a smiling problem. I smile too much. What can I do, being me is pretty funny. And what goes on in my head is almost always very entertaining. But that is not the only reason that I’m smiley. I’m sure my grandmother’s lessons of etiquette for ladies (ladies do not make rings with their orange peels (whatever that means) and ladies smile a lot. It’s a shame I did not pick up more of these) and also my mum’s transference of her most valuable lesson at secretarial college (smiling) to me have something to do with it too.
Smiling is nice I think. I like it when I’m walking down the street and someone smiles at me. It makes my day. So I do it to other people too. Not just to make their day but also (for a more selfish reason) because I think that person might then go off and smile at someone else and I feel even happier to think that I might have started a chain of pleasantness that one day might come back to myself again. This is not at all a farfetched fantasy considering how small Oxford is.
As you can see I have a lot of reasons for smiling which apparently also means a lot of reasons for getting into trouble. Guys are forever coming on to me in the street and trust me it’s not because I’m beautiful or anything like that whatsoever it’s simply because I’m smiling and therefore to them I look like I’m up for it or something.
I guess I’m getting to that age now when I should start to feel chuffed if some young guy is trying to pick me up but every time something like this happens I get so angry I want to kill the bastard.
I guess it’s more because I know that it’s my own fault and also because I am so happily married and so in love that even the thought of some guy having thought that was flirting with him makes me feel physically sick. The thing is I’m quite flirty by nature I think and used to do a lot of it before I met Kamyar so I know what flirting is and it’s definitely not walking around with a smile on your face because you have funny-looking animals and stories flying about in your head.
So what am I to do about this problem then? Do you think it’s a good idea to introduce a new version of the ‘Gay Hanky Codes’ into the straight community? O how I long for that day.
Meanwhile I shall be working on toning down the smile and looking a bit serious when walking down the street, which trust me, is not at all an easy thing to do if you are wearing a hairclip in shape of an orange and green fish.
Note to self, buy more respectable hairclips.