Monday, June 12, 2006

‘It’s not the winning it’s the taking part that counts.’ Yeah right!
Iran 1, Mexico 3, Shirin and Kamyar £10 poorer.
Ok the first half was good. It was really good in fact. They were playing so well, weren’t they? They were fast on their feet and passed the ball around really nicely and altogether it really looked like they were playing a much better game than the Mexicans. But then the second half came and [blogger blows raspberry]. Well we all know what happened then, don’t we?
It looked as though during the halftime our team had indulged themselves in a three course meal of Mast-o khiar and then Chelokabab with doogheh mabsoot followed by a big bowl of Sholeh zard and a ghalyoon while the other team had been injected with large quantities of Red Bull and Lucozade, while someone shoved bags of coke up their nostrils!
What happened to our boys? Well I say boys but you know…most of them are knocking on a bit aren’t they? They just couldn’t be bothered or simply couldn’t play anymore. They were all just hanging around by their own goal probably thinking, ‘Oh don’t pass that to me. What am I gonna do with it…Shit, the Mexican got it again. Oh well never mind.’
At times it was even painful to watch. When that poor goalie was trying to get them to go back a bit so he could pass the ball to them on the other side of the pitch, you could see they were taking a few steps back going, ‘Is this ok?’ then he would be like, ‘No back, back.’ and motioning them to go back with his hand and you could tell they were all like, ‘Uhhhh, do I have to? But then I’ll just have to run all the way back again, don’t I? What’s the point?’
Well it’s not the players’ fault I guess. Some of them are well past their sell-by date and should really be left alone to sit in their cardigans and comfy slippers and watch the game from the comfort of their homes, rather than play in it.
Let them go for crying out loud before one of them ends up having a heart attack on the pitch!

But seriously what is this fascination we have with old footballers? I guarantee you, Ali Parvin would still be playing too if only his belly was a little bit smaller. And I have my suspicions the only reason that poor guy had to go and make such a huge belly for himself is because there really was no other way for him to get out of playing football until he was well into his nineties.
Isn’t it about time we stopped treating our footballers like pickled garlic? Baba, be peer, be peyghambar, be ee sooyeh cheraagh, [swearing to this and that] up until his mid twenties, like pickled garlic, a footballer might get better with age but from then on it’s all downhill for the footballer whereas pickled garlic not only tastes better, but I have a feeling it might play a better football as well.

Well there’s no point crying over spilt milk but what can I do, I’m truly disappointed.


Speedy Gonzalez said...

Bravo Mexico! Bravo!

Shahin said...

Oh, Whatever Speedy Gonzalez! At least all of our players were Iranians, unlike the “Brazilian” player in your Mexican team!

Shirin said...

Yeah yeah yeah, yeehaa, whistles and a few raspberries. But yes you’re right Speedy Gonzales, bravo. They played well.

Maybe we should get a Brazilian to come and play for us as well Shahin? Do you think your sister might be willing to marry one and make him play for the team?

Bobby said...

Mexico can't pass long. They work those little triangles near the sidelines. Iran was harrassing them to death, breaking up their action like that, forcing them to pass long, which they couldn't do well, so Iran would win the ball back like that - if they'd just kept at that - and gave it to that super duper fast guy . ..

marieh said...

mhm, what should I say. firstly I live in a rugby zone and it was such a hassle to get a few people into watching football, I almost wanted to get next flight back home to germany,..than I find some iranians who decide at some point lets not play on sunday but watch it, then suddenly they wake up sunday noon, run around town to find a decent pub...I feel very sorry for these guys now, they became really excited in first half. not only them, my sister who knows iran only from one holiday, texted , hey we could maybe win, but her message just got me when we where beaten up on the gras..cycled back home, trying to hide the flag under my shirt

Behrooz said...

Loooong face! I can't even blow a raspberry.

I know you get it: Football? Form and content don't go together, dear Shirin.

Shirin said...

You’re right Bobby; they had really got stuck in to begin with and were having a serious go at those Mexicans but then they just gave up! It looked as thought the Iran team had been told that they would only get paid for the first half of the game!

That was so depressing, wasn’t it Marieh? Poor Kamyar had to go to work straight after the match where he would be made fun of by men of many different races and nations. I’ve not asked him how that went yet; I think it’s best if I don’t bring it up and let him forget

I get the ‘Loooong face!’ and the ‘raspberry’ dear Behrooz but unfortunately ‘Form and content don’t go together’ proved to be a little too much for my small brain ;-) Could you tell me what you meant by that please? Is it perhaps some sort of riddle?

GazanKhan said...

Very smart and very funny Shirin. And I must add that it's sheer brutality sending those poor old guys in the arena on their own; reminded me of those poor ancient christians in Colosseum trembling in front of the hungry lions.

Aman said...

Oh my god that’s so funny!

Shirin said...

You said it my friend, Gazankhan. It’s so unfair.
Did you watch the Brazil and Croatia game yesterday by the way? That Ronaldo was so much like Ali Daee! Wasn’t pulling his weight at all! so he was taken out of the game. Should have done that with Daee as well. We might have had a better game then.

Aman, you mean tragic right? ;-)

Behrooz said...

I just meant that the football content does not match your style of writing, not in this one at least.

Shirin said...

Aah, now I get it.