Friday, June 09, 2006

Last night our cooker blew up. If you’ve never had the pleasure of having an electric cooker blow up in your face, take it from me; it’s quite frightening and really annoying as well especially if just moments before you have been saying, ‘I’m so happy. Hey isn’t summer great?’ while dancing around the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for you pasta sauce.
Kamyar said, ‘Yeah it’s great, isn’t it?’ and we pulled some very extreme happy faces for each other; arms up in the air, eyes bulging, mouth wide open; screaming style only soundless with jazz hands to finish.
Ok we were a bit merry from our one can of Becks each after having been out in the sun all day.
‘Look; I’ve got a tan just from walking to town and back today.’ I said. Kamyar agreed with my statement on further inspection, ‘You have as well. Nice.’ and then said, ‘I’ll just go and check something on my blog. Be back in a sec.’
And that’s when I noticed it. A most dazzling light was shining out from underneath the frying pan.
Naturally I thought what I presume any normal tipsy person would think when put in a similar situation on the night before their thirty first birthday; this was God, trying to make contact with me.
I felt quite chuffed of course but then I thought, ‘I really hope he’s just come to say happy birthday and be off on his way.’ because Kamyar and I were having such a nice evening together and we were both tired and fancied just lying on our sofa and watching Walk the Line and if god was to suddenly turn up, we would probably have to sit up straight and make polite conversations with him about the Koran and the Old Testament.
‘Maybe I’m going to be a prophet’ I thought. If that’s the case I hope I’m a fun prophet with a nice easy religion that says things like, ‘If you want to go to heaven, eat strawberries.’ and ‘But if you’re allergic to strawberries or just don’t like them, eat cherries or bananas.’ and that sort of thing. I didn’t really fancy having to go to wars and preach and all that.
‘I wonder if he’ll be willing to give me this week’s winning Lottery numbers as a birthday gift’ I thought, ‘or pull some strings and make Iran win the World Cup or at the very least, cure my eczema.’
And then it happened, as I bent down to see how much longer god was planning to illuminate the kitchen from underneath my frying pan before saying happy birthday, Booooooooom; the hob blew with a loud bang, sparks went flying and for the first time in it’s very long life, our old electric cooker had a nice little fire on it (which by the way god failed to come out from).
Happy birthday to me :-)

13 comments:

GazanKhan said...

A very happy birthday to you my dear Shirin. Once something like this happened to a werry merry friend of mine who abcent mindedly had put a little flat dumb pressur cooker under the frying pan, instead of one of those round prforated metal sheets, I don't know what you call them.
Anyway, by God's good will or because the electric cooker was under an open window, after the explosion the whole set flew out of the window and over the cuckoo's nest and vanished in thin air, and didn't hurt anybody that's the important thing, not hurting anybody! I hope you two are OK now.

AA said...

Happy birthday to you!

Have you noticed there are very few women prophets? I think there are only three women prophets in the Old Testament. Perhaps because they would have all gone for strawberries too!

Your disciple,

M.

Leyli said...

A vary happy birthday to you!

OH MY GOD!!!
Are you OK?

We had our electric oven exploded in our kitchen just two months ago, huge sound & as you said illumination, all in just one second. Fortunately even if the door glass spread everywhere and I was sitting just in front of it, because it was a security glass it didn't cut anything!! shocking anyway...

Best wishes Shirin joon

amanda kay said...

much love to you and happy birthday, things explode on me all the time but thankfully it is just my life. best wishes!

marieh said...

a very happy happy birthday to you shirin, I hope you keep your way on looking at things with humour and your birthday is the most wonderful day with other great guests

mariamusic said...

Happy Birthday to you, Shirin.
I enjoy your sense of humor very much. mariamusic.

Amir said...

shirin, tavallodet kheyyli mobaraak! And thank you both for the great stuff on your blogs. I am a regular now.

Shirin said...

That’s very funny Gazankhan :-) I’m glad nothing like that happened to me though because if pans had started flying out of our window like that, then I would definitely think that God was trying to make contact with me!

Very good point AA. I guess we just can’t be bothered with building arks and getting crucified and all that malarkey. It’s too much hassle. If I’m ever called upon to go and save the world or something, I think I’ll be tempted to try and get out of it somehow. ‘What’s that m’love?...Didn’t quite catch that ‘Thou shalt not’ what?... Can’t hear you at all now. Are you going through a tunnel?’

Wow Leyli, So I have the oven explosion to look forward to an’all now ;-) Your experience sounds a lot scarier than mine. Why on earth were you sitting just in front of the oven though?

Thanks Amanda Kay :-) I hope all your life explosion are good ones with a lot of fireworks to follow.

Thanks Marieh :-) Gonna watch the match today? COME ON IRAN!

Thanks a lot Mariamusic ;-)

Cheers Amir! Let us know when your exams are over so we can get together, alright? I’m very excited about the match today. Can’t believe those two lucky so and sos (the long haired one and the lawyer) have gone to watch the match in Germany!

Leyli said...

I knew you were gonna ask about that ;-)
Well...small houses which students can afford here in Italy, force them to sit in strange places and to do even very stranger things! :-)
By the way...I have just finished watching the match, do you think you can write something funny to make me feel a bit better!! :-(

Shirin said...

Oh I see. It’s bit like that in England as well. I’ve even heard of a flat where the bath had been put in the kitchen which can be quite handy I guess if you are a messy eater.
Now the second part of your sentence about doing ‘even stranger things’ is making me wonder exactly what it was that you had put in that oven! Was the explosion perhaps the result of some weird student experiment gone horribly wrong? Or did this happen because some weirdo housemate of yours had tried to warm up his baked beans in there without opening the can first?
Umm, sorry but no I don’t think I can write anything funny at the moment and especially not about that stupid match :-( We was rubbish! Booo hooo.

Behrooz said...

So illuminating! Until now I did not know God communicates through electric ovens, now I do. That must be the reason why we don't have many prophets around! Yet, I so much like aa's perspective too ;-)

Shirin said...

Well you live and learn don’t you Behrooz? ;-)

Tracey said...

I knew you were gonna ask about that ;-) Well...small houses which students can afford here in Italy, force them to sit in strange places and to do even very stranger things! :-) By the way...I have just finished watching the match, do you think you can write something funny to make me feel a bit better!! :-(