Monday, December 12, 2005

As girls we are expected to do certain things when we are home alone, right? First we have a good soak in the bath, while reading a book and then we put on lovely nighties and sit in front of a soppy movie, eating chocolates, cakes and ice-cream.
Well my routine is very different to this and I think if you think about it, it makes a lot more sense as well. First of all; the bath. Let me just say that reading in the bath is a myth. Trust me I’ve tried this and it’s impossible to do without getting the book completely soaked and since I borrow most of my books from the library, I don’t even try it anymore. Now I like a long soak in the bath as much as the next person but the way I see it, why get yourself all cleaned up like that when it’s going to be just you all by yourself? Same goes for the nice nightie, why wear the nice one if no one is going to be there to see it? When I’m alone, I usually choose comfort over looks and go for these pyjamas I have that are very comfy but unfortunately make me look like a cross between a political prisoner from Evin and a survivor of the Holocaust.
Now to the eating part. Instead of chocolates and ice cream, I usually like having soups with big chunks of vegetables and noodles and a lot of beans. It makes sense as well when you think about it because you can always eat your chocolates and ice cream and all that when you are with other people but no one likes to watch a smelly girl dressed as a political prisoner munching her way through a big bowl of noodles with beans an broccoli. Am I right?
What’s more, in this way when the film is finished, with all those beans you’ve been having, you can form your own one man band and entertain yourself into the early hours of the morning. This can be very amusing of course, although again it’s probably something that others would not appreciate.

So I guess here’s what I’m trying to work out: Am I alone in acting in this way, or is the bath reader, ice cream licker, sexy nightie wearer girl altogether just a fairy tale?

Again I have put my neck on the line here for scientific research purposes and have revealed my worst habits to the public but of course I don’t expect you to do this as well. I’m safe you see because I’m married and if Kamyar wants to get rid of me now, he first has to give me seven hundred gold coins and three camels, I think (and let’s face it, that’s practically impossible on a factory worker’s salary) so he’s trapped for life basically but I can understand that a lot of you still need to find and trap partners of your own so feel free to comment as anonymous on this one.

9 comments:

Foulla said...

"the bath reader, ice cream licker, sexy nightie wearer .."i think it's just a fairy tale my friend,except if by books u mean the plastic ones i buy for y 1 year old..by the way,u're pyjamas "look" very homey to me and what ever u're saying,even the night "smelly" band is just making u ...well,a normal person.the kind of person u feel gr8 to be around.i'm so like u that when i tried one night to go for the "sexy nightie", my husband got confused and i had to put on my "normal" nighties for him to be able to smile again and act "normal".

amanda kay said...

shirin dear, i happened to reading this and started laughing just as the company accountant walked up and he looked disarmed as no one ever laughs when he walks up because it's always about money and that isn't happy or humorous at all. all of that and he just wanted to borrow a pen.

but i'll tell you, that unfortunately for my HPB, the only time i feel like taking a nice long bath and wearing a sexy nightie eating ice cream and watching all six seasons of sex and the city on dvd is when i know he's not going to be around. it reminds me of the days when i was a freewheelin' single girl. it makes me feel good. i like to treat myself. but maybe for you, treating yourself is to do the prison pajama thing. and that's okay too.

Lo said...

well, i read books in the bath, but i keep a small towel hanging above me to wipe my hands every so often. but about the ice-cream licking and sexy nightie? i'm definitely not into that. i only had a sexy nightie once (a hand-me-down) and i always wore it with long warm socks pulled way up (just ask manny).

you see, when i've got time alone, i don't shower or bathe until it's very necessary. i usually wear the baggiest clothing ever (cut off sweats, wool socks, leg warmers, big t-shirts from ex-boys, sweatshirts with holes/stains), close all the shades in my house, drink drinks right out of the containers (rebel!), and eat canned baked beans right out of the can. i'm a regular dude.

power to the messy (and smelly) ladies!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha!to answer your question its a fairy tale, and it discribes the ideal situation we would like to be. If i talk about a relaxed evening, my boyfriend buys icecream for me, so I shouldnt disillusion him, because I love icecream...As for the pajama, i used to wear them on all occasions at home, but spontaneous non-iranian visitors believed that I just woke up or want to go to bed and it always became one of those multicultural confusions.
(thanks for wellcoming, your blog is fun:)Marieh

Kamyar said...

You really have to work on this one man band. Last time it was out of tune and really disappointing Shirin. Bit more chic-peas might be the solution.
Good luck

pishik said...

Well, I live alone and I love taking a bath once in a while when it is freezing cold (northeastern US weather). I don't read books in the bath because of the wetting issue but I love to have a glass of wine and candle light. Then the funny thing is that I get bored quite soon and jump out of the bath. I eat chocolate no matter when and where and I don't wear sexy nighties when I am alone! That sounds silly. And for the movie, yes i like to treat myself once in a while with a silly romantic comedy that I wouldn't normally watch it with a company. So, that's it. Some part of what you said is a myth and some practical.

Negar said...

since the odds of me trapping a partner here are pretty low, i'm not going to leave an anonymous comment.
first of all, I'm known for taking very long baths but I never do that when I'm all alone. to me, long baths are relaxing merely because they let me spend some time alone. so I don't see why I should lock myself in a tiny bathroom when I'm already alone.
the book reading in the bath tub is just a myth. I have tried every trick and decided that it's impossible to read a book without getting it somewhat wet, if not soaked. (by the way, you're a responsible citizen because I was thinking I would do that to a library book but not to my own!)besides, the lighting in the bathrooms is hardly enough for me to shave my legs, let alone reading books.
about eating, well I'm not a fan of ice cream or chocolate. I eat them only socially. actually I don't eat much when I'm alone but if I do it will be REAL food and/or fruits.
and no movies either. I just watch the cheap stuff on TV that I don't want anyone to know I watch. like those celebrity shows or 100 most shocking moments of whatever.
[sorry for leaving an extra long comment. I just wanted to have contributed to your scientific research]

GazanKhan said...

My dear you are getting too bold, aren't you?

Shirin said...

Thanks Foulla, you have given me a very good tip there. Now I can’t wait to have children of my own and be able to enjoy a bit of literature in the bath without having to worry about it getting soaked :-)

Ok Amanda I see what you’re doing, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. You know HPB reads this and you are just trying to paint this very sexy image of yourself (when he’s not around) for him. And yes I agree with you; it’s best to try and lure them in with the promise of the sexy nighties and closely shaved legs and bring out the prison pyjamas, the hairy armpits and the one man band after they’re fully trapped with no camels to try to buy their freedom with.

Lo, you said it girl. Eating beans out of the can, no showers; yes it all makes sense doesn’t it? I tried a sexy nightie once too. I had only just shaved my head you see and I was trying to make up for the lack of femininity in my life by dressing myself in sexy stuff but unfortunately the shaved head meant that I ended up looking like I had just escaped from Auschwitz.

Marieh I love ice cream too. But for some reason I also love the combination of beans, broccoli and cabbage and since the after-effect of ice cream seems to be a lot more socially acceptable than beans, I’ve decided that it makes a lot more sense to go for the beans in private and the ice cream in public ;-)
The whole pyjama thing really made me laugh. It’s so very true and I’ve had those exact same problems as well.

Yes sorry Kamyar, that was a bit out of tune wasn’t it? But believe me it’s only because you were around and I panicked. On Sunday night, I managed to play the Ninth Symphony all in one go without missing a beat! And with only beans that is; no chick peas were in sight. It’s a shame you were doing nights then and missed it all.

Thanks for that Pishik. Yes that’s the problem with baths isn’t it? First the water is too hot and then it gets too cold. I think I only ever have about five minutes in there when the temperature is absolutely perfect. I too like a glass of wine in the bath I must admit. But try getting your bath really really hot this time and then get in there with a cold beer. That’s one of my personal favourite combinations. I don’t do that very often though as too much hot water will apparently end up leaving one with saggy breasts.

Interesting Negar. Sounds like you are just like me then. And then we have the ongoing story in the head thing as well! I’m starting to think that we might just be the same person :-)

Do you think so Gazankhan? I might have to tone it down a bit then.