If there is one thing in the world that I absolutely cannot stand, it’s vandalism; it’s having no respect for other people’s properties; it’s thoughtlessly destroying what others have ever so lovingly created. Ladies and gentlemen, you cannot even begin to imagine how I feel right now as I write this and how saddened I am to have to be the one to tell you that last night our beautiful monument of the Broken White Toilet was vandalised ‘By a bunch o’ youfs probly.’ Said Jeff, shrugging his shoulders as he went back to pulling at the lavender bush.
‘I am not even going to pretend to understand what goes on in the minds of the people who would carry out such barbaric acts.’ Said I, and walked off to try and document what was left of our beloved monument.
At that moment I could feel exactly how a photographer who had arrived at Bam a week or so after the earthquake must have felt. Of course I know that comparing the Broken White Toilet with the historic city of Bam is not really fair. For one, there are thousands if not millions of photographs of the great Arge-eh Bam from before the earthquake but as far as I know there is not even a single photo of the Broken White Toilet before it was vandalised.
Why did I put off doing this for so long? Why had I not come down last night to take photographs, just as I had promised Behrooz, Amanda and the Crazy Chef?
On a closer inspection I realised that not much damage had actually been done. It was just that the lid for the toilet flush which was previously ever so carefully placed in the front of the Broken White Toilet, had now been carelessly thrown to the side, about half a meter away from its original place. Therefore one is no longer able to appreciate the true beauty of the Broken White Toilet as one stands in front of the entrance to the building by the buzzers.
I’m sure right now you are thinking, ‘this is not something to get so upset over, why don’t you just pick the lid up and put it in its original place?’ But I can’t help thinking what if these were not merely vandals out having a good time at other people’s expense? What if they were trying to steal our beloved monument but their plan was disturbed by someone walking by or something?
Think about it, first there is all that business in London. Then as the eyes of the whole world are on London to try and prevent such attacks from happening again, some people try to steal our most loved monument in Oxford! And when does this failed robbery attempt take place? On the forth anniversary of the September the eleventh attacks. Coincidence? I think not.
The way I see it (as I said to the Zimbabwean lady upstairs as well) this has all the hallmarks of Al Qaeda.