Monday, August 01, 2005

A little while ago I bought a hot chocolate from Starbox and when I had the first sip I realised that rather than getting a hot chocolate, I had received a lukewarm-bordering-on-cold chocolate. When I complained about the appalling state of my beverage, I was told that some kid had burnt himself with the hot chocolate drink and from then on they had decided to bring the temperature down to avoid any more burnings.
This may not seem like much but now-a-days every little health and safety thing like that attracts my attention because I have seriously started to worry about the next generation. It really seems like we are more than ever wrapping them in cotton wool and not letting them learn anything. For example, when are they suppose to learn to wait for a few seconds instead of just gulping down whatever is put in front of them in a cup?
I think there are some things in life that (no matter how much one is told about) can never be learnt without firsthand experience. Mastering the art of drinking a hot drink without burning one’s mouth is one of those things. And no matter how many times an adult might tell a child to be careful, they are just going to have to burn themselves a few times before they get the hang of it. And what better time to learn these things than when they are still children?
I mean there are some things in life that we should really experience and be over and done with as a child so as an adult we will not embarrass ourselves and others around us. Things like chickenpox (if you haven’t seen an adult with chickenpox before, take it from me; it’s quite humiliating) or that no matter how delicious a bar of soap might look, it is still not to be bitten into, or that no matter how fast we flap our arms, we will never be able to take off like a bird, and so on and so forth.
You may think I’m saying these things just to be funny but this is really serious. Listen to this: some time ago, an old lady burnt herself, taking a bath. This for some reason got the government so worried that they started talking about passing a law that meant every hot tap in every bath in the country had to be fitted with a thermostat so not to allow the temperature to go over a certain point! It’s unbelievable, isn’t it? And unfortunately the government’s fascination with our safety does not end with preventing us from burning ourselves. Now they’ve decided that since we have absolutely no idea how to feed ourselves (on account of everyone being so fat and unhealthy) they should put colour coded labels on all food products with red being bad, green being good and orange; frowned upon! I’m not kidding.
They have also either put a ban on king-size chocolate bars or have advised companies against making them! I’m going to stop putting exclamation marks at the end of every sentence now I think, because to me this whole thing is just one huge exclamation mark altogether.
Maybe now you can see why I said I was worried about the next generation. Because the way I see it, twenty years from now, Britain will be run by a nation of imbeciles who will walk around wearing shoes labelled, ‘Left’ and ‘Right’, drinking lukewarm coffee with tiny little chocolate bars with red labels (if they’re feeling naughty), washing their hands with soaps that despite of all the warning signs, still have teeth marks on them and who in their offices have signs that say ‘No running with scissors.’
God help us all.


shady said...

i think the next generation needs a good old-fashioned beating!

The big fan said...

I'm getting addicted to your colomn Shirin; A very intelligent observation as always and funny too, as always. Keep up the good work lady.
The old fan, the old boddy, the old man.

graceonline said...

You made me laugh at the end of a long, difficult day. Thank you! And I totally agree with you. It would be a much better world if people would simply take more responsibility for ourselves and our choices.

Shirin said...

I'm glad I made you happy:)